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27-12-2024
KHAN YOUNIS/ GAZA: The face of Samar Ahmed, 37, shows clear signs of exhaustion.
It is not just because she has five children, nor that they have been displaced several times since the start of Israel’s brutal war on Gaza 14 months ago and are now living in cramped, cold conditions in a makeshift tent in the al-Mawasi area of Khan Younis. Samar is also a victim of domestic violence and has no way to escape her abuser in the cramped conditions of this camp.
Two days ago, her husband beat her around the face leaving her with a swollen cheek and a blood spot in her eye. Her eldest daughter clung to her all night following that attack, which happened in front of the children.
Samar does not want to break up her family, they have already been forced to move from Gaza City, to the Shati camp in Rafah and now to Khan Younis and the children are young. Her eldest, Laila, is just 15. She also has 12-year-old Zain, 10-year-old Dana, Lana, seven, and Adi, five, to think about.
On the day that media visits her, she is trying to keep her two younger girls occupied with schoolwork. Sitting together in the small tent, which is made from rags, the three have spread out some notebooks around them. Little Dana is huddled up close to her mother, seemingly wanting to give her support. Her younger sister is crying from hunger and Samar seems at a loss as to how to help them both.
As a displaced family, the loss of privacy has added a whole new layer of pressure.
“I lost my privacy as a woman and a wife in this place. I don’t want to say that my life was perfect before the war, but I was able to express what was inside me in conversation with my husband. I could scream without anyone hearing me,” Samar says. “I could control my children more in my home. Here, I live in the street and the cover of concealment has been removed from my life.”
A loud argument between a husband and wife drifts through from the tent next door. Samar’s face turns red with embarrassment and sadness as bad language fills the air. She does not want her children to hear this.
Her instinct is to tell the children to go out and play, but Laila is washing dishes in a small bowl of water and the argument next door brings her own problems back into sharp focus.
“Every day, I suffer from anxiety because of the disagreements with my husband. Two days ago, it was a great shock for me that he hit me in this way in front of my children. All our neighbors heard my screams and crying and came to calm the situation between us.
“I felt broken,” Samar says, worried the neighbors will think she is to blame that her husband shouts so much because she is a bad wife.
“Sometimes, when he screams and curses, I stay quiet so that those around us think he’s screaming at someone else. I try to preserve my dignity a little,” she says.
Samar tries to preempt her husband’s anger by attempting to solve the problems facing the family herself. She visits the aid workers every day to ask for food. She believes it is the pressures of the war that have made her husband this way.
Before the war, he worked in a small carpentry shop with a friend and this kept him busy. There were fewer arguments.
Now, she says: “Because of the severity of the disagreements between me and my husband, I wanted a divorce but I hesitated for the sake of my children.”
Samar goes to psychological support sessions with other women, to try to release some of the negative energy and anxiety building inside her. It helps her to hear that she is not alone. “I hear the stories of many women and I try to console myself with what I am going through, through their experiences.” (Int’l News Desk)
